about bryan

Bryan, co-host and semi-creator of the dissemiNATION is no stranger to the blinding media spotlight. Considered by many to be the only successor to the crown of Andy Rooney, Bryan has dabbled in pirate radio, offline blogging and video projection scams. Birthed into the thriving metropolis of Steilacoom, Bryan ascertained from an early age that he was placed on the planet known as Earth to entertain and that nothing else would quench his undying thirst and slight throat scratchiness. During his early school days he would befuddle teachers with his ability to analyze political strategies. A long time fan of the policies and subtleties of Gerald Ford, Bryan imitated the former president in every way conceivable. Bryan proudly donned his Ford costume every Halloween for ten years straight, until he finally got the chance to meet Ford in person. He has often said this moment may have changed his life. As a teenager Bryan would often attempt to get his head run over by cars in order to teach the drivers a valuable lesson and gain a hefty insurance settlement. In 1996 he launched the world’s first internet cafe, although no food was served and it was quickly shut down.

During his tenure at Western Washington University, Bryan explored his artistic side, but painfully discovered that he had no such side after five years of beginning art classes. He is currently serving the public as a therapist, in an attempt to repay his many debts to society. Bryan also moonlights as an unprofessional tennis player, bobsledding instructor and conjurer of cat spirits. He is widely known for his radical underground newsletter The Way I Sea It, a theoretical diary of the life at sea that he never had. In 2008 during his annual religious pilgrimage to Hawaii, Bryan began to muse of a collaboration with Mike on a podcast and quickly set to work penning bizarre feature ideas and irreverent banter. Although he maintains that the dissemiNATION is his number one priority, he continues to dabble in various avenues of releasing his twisted thoughts upon society. His goals for the podcast are fame, fortune and a TV spin-off. The dissemiNATION is the result of his life long struggles, triumphs and naps.

Additionally, Bryan has forged/learned many talents. He is excellent with some ladies and is a quick swimmer. Bryan can tape things well and shows modest potential in the field of faux-zoology. He holds several world records of unknown origin and importance. Bryan often talks too loud and listens too softly. He generally feels pain and quizzes noodles. Bryan is not the alpha or the omega, however friends often say he is the beta and the theta. He will never help an old lady nor will he hurt her. Bryan is the sum of all the fears in the world, with some government assistance and a comfortable hat to make it through the day.

Typical